Log in

My Ramblings

Whatever random shit happens to be on my mind




November 19th, 2011

(no subject)

Rachel McAdams

Is it bad if I feel like I'm due for a tragedy? My whole life I've never had any major accidents, never lost anyone I was truly truly close to. My great-grandma died when I was a toddler, my great-grandpa when I was 13, and my grandpa when I was 16. They were all expected and I wasn't close to any of them. I broke my wrist at 10 in a gymnastics accident. Sure, I had my heart broken at 15, but it was puppy love. Didn't even come close to the love I'm blessed to have found now. I've never gotten a phone call that someone's been in a horrible accident, or that someone has a life-threatening disease.

Don't get me wrong, I'm beyond grateful to have found the love of my life, and to have such a good relationship with my mother (and mother-in-law!), and to have such amazing friends. I just feel like my inner drama queen is screaming for something bad to happen. And of course the rest of me is screaming for it not to. Anyone else feel like this???

July 5th, 2011

RIP Caylee Anthony

Tune Out the World
This huge outcry about Casey Anthony not being found guilty is really rubbing me the wrong way. I've heard so many people whining and complaining about how flawed our judicial system is, but what happened to innocent until proven guilty? If it were any of us accused of murder, we would expect the same. The prosecution could not prove beyond reasonable doubt that Casey did it, therefore she was found not guilty. Its that simple. Furthermore, I'm saddened by how many people are ready to see her killed without definitive evidence. It brings to mind the Salem witch trials.

May 24th, 2011


So I've started counting calories again. Not bc I'm back on track with my diet, no. Actually, its an attempt to make sure I eat enough! We are that hard-pressed for money now. :'(  Jess still hasnt found a job, and I'm struggling to pay it all on my own. We can barely manage to pay the essentials (rent and power), and have approx $40 left over for 2 weeks worth food and gas. Credit cards and college loans are going to have to wait. And we've both got too much pride to ask our friends for help. I mean, they have their own money problems! I did talk to Jess' mom today, and explained the situation to her, and she is going to talk to the landlady and see how much she's willing to work with us. This sucks!

I feel like such a horrid selfish bitch for being upset that I didnt get to get anything for ME for my birthday, which was Sunday. My mom gave me $150, which went towards groceries. A few friends gave me cards. That's it. I know they have their own problems. I'm not mad at them, or upset with them. I feel like I should just be thankful for all the blessings I do have, like being alive and relatively healthy, and having Jess and our family and friends. But it still SUCKS. I guess I'm just spoiled.

My upgrade date for a new phone is today. If I could just find a decent deal on a new phone that I actually want, and get that, I'd be happy. I hate the POS I have now. Its so outdated (Envy 2, anyone?), and I'm a huge technology-junkie. But their cheapest 'deals' are still $130! And that's for a stupid BlackBerry Curve! I've had a Curve before, and there's no way in hell I'm paying $130 for one!


Post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything.
A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything.
Be sure to post anonymously and honestly.
Post twice if you'd like.

May 2nd, 2011

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

~Dr Martin Luther King

April 25th, 2011


Can I just say, I -HATE- World of Warcraft. That is all.

April 8th, 2011

Sorry I've been MIA guys. I still read your stuff, I just havent really felt like commenting, or posting for that matter. Nothing's wrong, I just havent really been interested in online things like I usually am. It'll pass though lol, it always does. So I guess I'll update on some of what's been going on lately.


I know I didnt post about this, but for those of you who may've seen my post about it in ttc_lesbians, we never did hear a final word from our potential donor. So we assume he either changed his mind for whatever reason, or his girlfriend had a problem with it, or whatever. It was too hard to keep hoping and hoping and not knowing. It sucks, but we'll find our donor when the time is right.


Jess and I are thinking about going to Connecticut next year for a really small, informal wedding ceremony. 10-12 people, family and a few close friends. Our 2-year anniversary is on a Friday in March, and we thought it'd be really cool to have that be our wedding anniversary too. I'm a little OCD, and I've always wanted to do that lol. Plus, it will be 2012, which is an even number. I like even numbers. I know, I know, I'm crazy lol.

Ideally, we'd arrive Thursday, early enough to go around and take care of paperwork, the application, etc. We may or may not have to go back Friday morning and pick up the certificate. According to all my research, it just depends on the county, but I havent been able to find specific information on any one county. We'd have the ceremony on Friday afternoon, and afterwards in place of a reception dinner, we'd just like to all have dinner together at a restaurant. Maybe have a cake, but nothing fancy. If money permits, Jess and I would stay through Monday morning as a honeymoon of sorts.

Our first choice for location is a gorgeous bed and breakfast named the Copper Beech Inn, that is described as subtle and refined elegance in traditional New England style. For the prices and the amenities, I dont think it can be beat. The rooms are breathtaking, as well as being luxurious. Many of the bathrooms have two-person jacuzzi massage tubs, and some even have heated marble floors. I've emailed them about having our wedding there, but apparently the Events Coordinator will not be in until next week. So we're still holding our breaths that it will be available, and that it wont cost an arm and a leg (they have a wedding package, but its listed as being for 20 guests minimum), and of course that they will be gay-friendly. Here it is if you want to look at it: www.copperbeechinn.com/index.html


They're cutting my baylor pay at work. For those of you who dont know what that is, its when a company pays you for an extra 8 hours per week because you work 2 12 or 16 hour shifts on Saturday and Sunday. (I do 12's.) That's 32 hours a month that I'm losing. That's a whole freakin paycheck! I was so pissed when they told me. They're giving us a quarterly bonus over the next year to try to 'soften the blow', but it wont come close to making up what I'm losing. Its such bullshit because losing that extra time per week is the only thing that keeps a lot of people from calling out all the time. We're already short most of the time, and I have a feeling its only going to get worse. I hate it there so much, but I cant quit. Not yet. Not with me and Jess sharing a car. We're hoping to save up a little money down the road and get a little cheap car, and then as soon as we have 2 reliable cars, I'll be out of that shithole so fast all they'll see is a blur. I'm terrified the place will be shut down before then though, there's so much corruptness there. They fired Kelly last week (who's getting a group together to file for a right to sue for discrimination), and some of the things she knows would have the place shut down in a heartbeat. I wonder, if they get shut down, do I get unemployment?

Jess quit her job about a week ago. She couldn't deal with all their bullshit anymore. Of course she talked to me about it first. I told her that I couldn't outright tell her to quit without having another (I was raised not to do that), but that I would of course support her if she did. We were sitting outside in the car on her lunch break talking about it, and afterwards she went in and more or less told them to shove it. She got a callback for a job 2 days later, and one for a different job this week. She's been in for 2 interviews for the first one (well, more like tests- its a warehouse job, so there was a physical stress test and some other stuff) and should hopefully get a call in the next few days (minus the weekend) if she gets it. She really wants it, and it would be great for us because it would be a $4 raise from what she used to make. Pray she gets one, especially with me losing baylor!


I cant really think of anything else, so I guess that's it. If you actually read all that babble, well... bless your heart. Lol kidding, kidding, But seriously, thanks (=

March 22nd, 2011

1 Year? Really, That's It?

Jess & I 2

Tomorrow marks 1 year with Jess. Honestly, I feel like I've known her much longer. I know we're soulmates, I know in my heart. I've never been so unbelievably, unequivocally happy with anyone like I am with her.

We'd planned on celebrating by having 3 days off together. We were going to spend Monday and Tuesday going to museums in Charlotte and dinner, and then spend all day Wednesday, the actual day of it, in bed. ;p But alas, Jess woke up Sunday with flu-like symptoms. She's a feeling a little better today than she did Sunday and yesterday, but still not enough that museum outings are feasible. She rode with me on a food run earlier, and I thought she was going to climb over me and yank the guy out the drive-thru window because he didnt speak English well and had to clarify whether we wanted apple juice or apple dippers. Yeah, she's that irritable. So I go back and forth between laughing at her snide comments and trying to restrain her from cussing out/ physically maiming some poor undeserving soul who had the misfortune to cross our paths at the wrong moment. Thankfully though, she's not the type to take out her irritability on me. As much as she stays sick, I dont think our relationship would have lasted if she were.

I'm disappointed that we didnt get to go to any museums, but I'm content with spending 3 whole days with her at home. I love taking care of her, when she'll let me of course.

I hope the kids we have end up with an immune system like mine rather than hers.

March 10th, 2011

(no subject)

For those of you who care, I finally got my mermaid print back from Michael's! It's sooo beautiful:

Pictures under the cut, because I'm being lazy and dont feel like resizing them right nowCollapse )

February 18th, 2011

This is what I do with my free time, and oftentimes when I should be doing homework or housework as well: I daydream and shop online of ways I'd like to decorate various rooms of my house, and sometimes just imaginary rooms. One of my favorite things to do is to challenge myself to do a whole room under $1000, similar to how they do on Design on a Dime.

I bought this amazingly breathtaking painting yesterday (well, unfortunately not the original, which was $1200 anyway, but a print of it), which will be the focal point of my living room:

And since then I've been on an obsessive kick of how I'd like to decorate around it, if money were no object. Here's what I've come up with so far, in pictures!Collapse )

I'll add more as I find it.
Powered by LiveJournal.com